Back in July I posted a link to the upcoming Green Hornet Movie trailer. A movie so good they pushed it back to the winter. Now I’m being bombarded with something worse. A fucking Yogi Bear movie. Yogi Bear? What,they couldn’t get the rights to Yakky Doodle?
Yakky just texted me and said "Thanks for the plug, yo!"
Back in the day the late great Spy Magazine had a article about coasters. Not the ones you rest a beverage on but these Coasters are celebrities who do something big and never achieve anything like that again (or near that) and don’t even try. They do lesser and lesser projects to keep up their profile. AND to keep the money coming in. (Those of you who’ve had the privilege/misfortune to hear me run off at the mouth have heard me talk about stars who show up in things because they need quick money for a new pool house.)
Now I want to call Dan Aykroyd a coaster and I almost can. What has he done since Ghostbusters? Go ahead I’ll give you a minute. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. finished? Good, cause except for raking in the dough for the House of Blues chain and arguing with Jessica Tandy in Driving Miss Daisy I can’t think of anything. Now he’s doing the voice of Yogi Bear? It could be worse. They could have put him in a suit. but I think even he’s got more dignity than that. Especially after that embarrassing turn in Caddyshack 2-
What's worse? The fact that he had to ask to have the arrow pulled out of his ass and have the poison sucked out or he had to ask Chevy Chase to do it?
Now fading celebs have a new outlet-Reality TV. Reality TV is the new Dinner theater. In the movie Soapdish, Kevin Kline’s character is kicked off the soap and reduced to playing Death of a Salesman in a Dinner theater where old folks watch him say “He’s liked, but not well liked” whilst eating roast chicken and mashed potatoes. The simple glimmer of what once was a big celebrity is sometimes all one has to hang onto. (see: Sunset Boulevard)
Nowadays shows like Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew,The Surreal Life, Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Fat Club, and Dancing with the Stars serve as cash/visibility vehicles for the once big (Jennifer Grey, Donny Osmond) , The not-so-big ( Jackee, Daniel Baldwin), Those famous for showing us their breasts (Dancing’s Kelly Monaco), and those that took what seemed like a thousand years to do so-only doing it AFTER their celebrity peak (Brooke Burke, Cindy “I’m the most dowloaded woman on the planet” Margolis). The reason for being famous (and therefore worthy of exclusion) can range from playing Elaine’s boss on Seinfeld to knocking up Britney Spears (K-Fed!) to getting knocked up while your conservative Republican mother runs for Vice President.
Now everyone’s got a show or had a show. To name a few: Former drunks K-Ci and Jojo from Jodeci, That chick who has to pretend she’s not taller than Ryan Seacrest and her husband who won The Apprentice, The cat who tried to rape Money Mike in Friday After Next (Terry Crews-I actually like his show The Family Crews),Vanilla Ice has a home improvement show as does Tony Siragusa, the fat guy on FOX NFL games, Manwhore Ray J and his sister Brandy, Bret”I’m not bald I wear this bandanna for medicinal purposes” Michaels, the late great Anna Nicole, Supermodel/Trainwreck Janice Dickinson, all three Of Hugh Hefner’s concubines from the Girls Next Door, and lest we forget Kim Kardashian – who built an empire on the lamest celebrity sex tape ever. (And by the way if you think that tape wasn’t leaked with her consent and she didn’t make money off it I’ve got some swampland you can buy cheap in Saudi Arabia.)
Rodneyrants 